Archive for February, 2007

why greetings. my name is yak of the vale and i hate people who use song lyrics as their msn names.

so heres another shocking update from me. soon you’ll learn to skip over these ones, until then, read them. it makes me feel worth something. heres 25 things that have happened recently:

1 > in oxford at about 4am on a saturday night a tramp asked me if i had any spare change. i told her i didnt want to, but saw she had a cute dog with her called tiny, who was very little as you may of guessed and lived in her jacket. this isnt tiny, but here aidan models a dog that looks similar although slightly more scared.

2 > aidan smelt so bad he gagged on his own smell and a bit of sick came out on the fireplace so he had to run to the bathroom to clean up.i swear this is true.

3 > a few months ago i made a bet with the landlord of the flowing well alehouse that i wouldnt smoke in his pub ever again. he gave me ?20 not to. the other night he busted me smoking in his pub. i didnt give him his ?20 back.

4 > aidan went round squirrels house when squirrel wasnt there, to eat some cookies they made, then came home.

5 > this is dot. we folded back her ears because we thought it was funny.

6 > noel edmonds hosts deal or no deal on channel 4. he has a very groomed head of hair. we bet his pubic hair is just as well groomed.

7 > theory tests are hilarious. heres 2 questions with a ridiculous possible answer they asked.

Q - WHY SHOULD YOU BE MORE CAREFUL WHEN FOLLOWING ELDERLY DRIVERS?

d)- THEIR CAR MAY BE VERY OLD.

Q - MOTORCYCLISTS SHOULD WEAR BRIGHT CLOTHING MAINLY BECAUSE…

c) - THE COLOURS ARE POPULAR.

ridiculous.

8 > me and aidan made a flapjack cake for my brothers 25th birthday. it was rad.

9 > i have a hair on my arm that is about 3 inches long. its my source of power just like samsons hair was to him.

10 > aidan can fart better than you. he brutally farted on my arm then we had a fight. whilst watching The Friday Night Project he farted 15 or so times. i think it was more.

11 > aidan went through a period where he didnt brush his teeth for 4-5 months. vile.

12 > we went to the zodiac one night. pipe flattened me to the floor near the end and my white t-shirt now looks like this.

13 > there was an old bloke in blue and white checked leggings in there. when it was closing time i talked to him and found out he was 62. he was one of the most amazing people ive ever met and said he just wanted to do fun stuff.

14 > the legend that is couch chatted up a girl who once tried to strangle pipe on new years. she gave him a blowie then he banged her with a strap on. good couch.

15 > daz drove us home. he was so drunk that he could barely talk or walk but managed to drive fine. i hugged pipes leg all the way home whilst couch and aidan sat on deckchairs.

16 > aidan now wears girls pyjamas with nothing on underneath. i dont know why. he doesnt either.

17 > me and poll agree that girls with fat legs that you cant see daylight through are fucking disgusting.

18 > we met a jon robinson lookalike.

19 > aidan met a girl called heather who was pretty cute. whilst dancing with her he got a bit um…pumped and prodded the poor girl in her flowergarden with his trowel. i met a girl called zoe who liked to shout 1-2-3-4! alot. i didnt prod her with anything.

20 >this is the trails monkey. he sits and guards our trails while we’re away. aidan found him and looks after him.

21 > we’re planning to learn girls aloud - love machine lyrics perfectly so then we can impress people with out lyrical rhythmical genius.

22 > when i work in hampshire doing woodland work i operate the chipper amd feed big trees into it. the other day a piece of wood flung out the wrong way and smacked me in the lip.my lip was so fat i looked like aidan for a while.

23 > a bit of blackthorn got stuck under my skin and made this orrible blister thing. aidan popped it and loads of white puss came out of it.

24 > me and aidan sit down once a week and look at where our relationship is going and how we could change it for the better.

25 > if you made it this far, then i suggest you do your own 25th thing and let us know what it is in the guestbook. i’ll like you if you do.

take a moment to see whether this was worth it.bye bye xx

Jordan manual on a bench…

Went to trails spot yesterday, looked alright. See what happens. ALso walked into the woods for ages looking for other place to build stuff. Found some prety weird stuff. A couple of house in the ground with ladders leading down to god knows where. Weird paintings on trees. Burnt out cars with bullet holes in it. Probably other stuff too.

Could be fun.

Lots of trees

Not as good as that berm on pretty shady guestbook. i have dreams about that

Old Blewbury trails, before they got overgrown. About 5 people asked us what we were doing with spades, ‘digging for gold’ usually kept them quiet. Wick’s spades are also the sharpest spades ever, jim sliced his finger open and had a cry about it.

Partying outside tescos is the new fashion? A picture for the paper about some new sound which makes youths run away from shops because of the noise. Who knows, staged shots are fun…

Not much seems to be happening at the moment at my end. The trails are coming along pretty well, third line well on its way, but nothing exciting seems to have happened of late, which sucks bum. I did go home for the weekend a couple of weeks ago, and myspace.com/photographyjosh snapped this table for me, which I\’m stoked on. Me and Yak in the Vale often have extensive conversations about the tabletop. Yak prefers the rectangle style, with someone of authority as head of the table, where as I go for a round table, just like the knights.

Music has been a massive part of my life for as far as I can remember, I think I must spend hours on end each day just listening to music. Recently I seem to have developed a taste for folk. Cropredy festival is held near Banbury, run by Fairport Convention, massive folk do all weekend. We always go, but usually sneak in and go for the drink and girls in tents. This year I might actually add the music played as a reason to attend, and perhaps even buy a ticket. This is a snap from my phone of Leatherat, an awesome local band we saw over Christmas.

When people told me the second year at uni is a massive step up, I didn\’t really pay much attention. Boy how they were right. The work load is obscene, assignments all over the shop, which isn\’t good when you are extremely disorganised. Oh yeh, if anyone fancys a new camera to fund my easy lifestyle, check out http://cgi.ebay.co.uk/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&rd=1&item=150092925444&ssPageName=STRK:MESE:IT&ih=005 two people bidding up to a massive price tag would be splendid.

Thats a carcus that we found in the New Forest riding mini bikes last year. Lil Tom, who now resides in the wonderful town of Croydon, had a ratty bike that we scrambled through the woods on. I did some gate starts on this. The smell on the wheel in the car on the way home was not so fun.

Headed over to a park in Eastleigh on saturday afternoon, which turned out to be alright, good for a hour or two. Cottons phone was off when I rang, but he used telepathic senses to know I was going and turned up anyway. Thats a very tame kickout. A hip that most people don\’t touch meant well above backrail, but the camera wasn\’t out unfortunately. Check Bar End video for proof of radness.
I\’m going to watch Hollyoaks on E4+1, because our freeview box sucks. See you in another life. x

One of my friends from back home is at uni and has started to ride again after a few years. He was looking around where he is at University and found these kicking about. Not a bad find i guess. Hopefully something like this will crop up in Cardiff round the corner from mine.

Having a person bail on you at the last minute when you think you had a house sorted with 4 people sucks. I am pretty tired right now, so laters.

hello.my name is yak of the vale and i havent knocked one out in 5 days.

so its my turn. seems we got some kind of rotor or however you spell it going on. a revolution never got anywhere without good planning. just look at the russian revolution. lenin and trotsky were all over that shit planning things from exile and all sorts. i aint in exile. but i liked textiles. and x files. and air miles. but not piles. no one likes that.

um. i remember years ago looking in magazines mainly in winter and mainly in dig magazine, pictures of haggard old trails and motivational words on building trails and inspiration and things of a nature that we would refer to as similar. i quite like haggard trails as a result of that. theres a beauty in both haggard trails and pretty ones. haggard ones hark back to 1999 when i started riding on a marin bear valley over a tiny mound of mud on the ridgeway in the shire.

so i went to baulking trails also in the shire the other day cos chris bradley made me and turned up whilst i was watching Ed on channel 4 at about 12.50pm. i really wanted to see the rest of Ed. ed, do you like Ed? do you also get stoked on it cos its named after you? heres rob watson doing fuckall. rich watson does stuff. rob doesnt. well, he cant dig for shit and ended up playing in puddles attempting to make drainage that would go on for 50 metres. chris joined in. i wasnt impressed.

same sort of picture. so i wanted to build the lip on the right. i didnt wanna play in puddles that day. so i made it. i didnt take a picture though. so count yourselves lucky you dont have to buy dig this month cos all you’re missing out on is here. this is the worst update ive ever done but im doing it under the influence and i feel that sparks my creativity. why? for i am weak and have no thoughts of my own without aid. aid in the sense of not aidan. he doesnt help me. he hinders me.

speak of the devil. never understood that phrase. heres aidan eating a small amount of excrement after trying to gap to manual on that ledge to not quite getting there. its pretty tough i recksoms. pictures courtesy of mark ratnidge and slapped together by me. good ol pirate photoshop. weeeeeee.

katie kennedy!! party at 157 ennit. katie kennedy is the one in the middle, pouting like a twat at a night back at the party house. we love katie kennedy. shes beautiful. i plan to marry her when she finishes with greg. she went out with liam eltham in yr9 or something and watched him as he smashed his face into a million pieces at a grove jam.

im far too incoherent for this sorta thing but it was my turn. this has taken me twice as long cos i wanted the spelling to be just right you know? it isnt but its a personal choice. its a lifestyle choice. if you can guess the link to who im talking about, type their address in your internet website writing bar and press the enter key after reading al the updates you havent read. long live johnny cash. stories about theory tests and hampshire next time. remind me. xx