This update is at it’s essence going to be the best update you’ve ever clapped your eyes on, even better than when the Bible was updated with the new testament. So the stories all start with some funny pictures from Aidan’s driveway a while ago. We were messing about riding the miniscule bank and doing silly tricks, when Aidan got really stoked and decided to take photos. These are the horrific results of these ridiculous manoeuvres. This bank is pretty much non existent, so if you’re expecting the world from these following three pictures you’re probably going to be greeted by a shit place like Hull at best.

Footplant fakie inspired by Tin Head

Arty angles innit bruv

Airing the shit out of it, streets is probably not saying much about this

There was then this other time at band camp…oh wait, actually it was at Aidan’s house. Me and my buddy Tobe were chilling at 157, in between shooting the Abingdon photo’s you saw on a previous update, and getting punctures at Radley riding in the wet. We decided to take this photo, where I thought I was the Fonz from Happy Days, and Danny boy Tobin thought he was going to sex my ear hole. Those guns are banned in 52 states, some European countries, and most of Antarctica.

Sicker then you, or something like that…

Oh yes, and then there was this time where I was in a completely different place to the photo’s location. I could have been working, eating a toasted sandwich, out buying some ornamental candle sticks, anywhere. The photo that someone took, my guess being Mr tripod, shows Aidan and Pipeson building up the steep jump lip. It may look wonky here, but the spirit level says differently…

Heroes in their own rights

This update is actually operating in chronological order, which works nicely I reckon. I remember when a Sprung video or something put the World Cup downhill mountain bike rounds in a random order through the video, and it didn’t really work. Sometimes rules are good…
The next photograph comes from just this Saturday morning, although Aidan has been hucking his bike over stuff like this since the late 1960’s. Let me give you some historical background. This gap is in Oxford city centre, and as part of the college I would imagine was constructed sometime during the 1900’s. And then sometime during 2007, Will Hermann gapped it, followed another time afterwards by world famous BMX super pro Liam Eltham. Forward to 17th May, and Aidan ‘big dog pimp number 1 fight you for your loafers’ Mahon also manned up. Although he was clipping the far edge of the pallet, it was pretty much a done deal. I’ll leave those boys to these sort of racer pedalling concrete gaps. Jen was also stoked on this gap, although confessing to the fact she had no idea whether it was good or not, bar judging by our excitement. We also got bothered by a drunken guy in a petrol station.

Rather you than me, scary burly street gappage

The following afternoon, we headed down to the land of Winchester. Rory met us there, and is what can only be described as a ‘rad dude’. He had been fixing lots of stuff that needed fixing, and changing the mud in need of changing. We had a little ride on some of the little line up top, then shredded back line. Scary stuff, but confidence boosting as the first foreign jumps session for us two of the year. Back line is officially the best line in the whole entire planet that we live on.
Aidan also got completely nuts, and decided to spin the first proper jump. In his usual do or die style, he sent it fully, eat quite a lot of shit, and then pulled it a few times clean. He wanted to continue down the line out of it, but the rest of the summer will bring that undoubtedly.

First in Back line, twist, gggg-narly, first session of the year

Aidan tuck the scariest one in the line, such a fun jump

This weekend we also partied really hard in the Cellar in Oxford. Stuicide Loxley also came out to play, and we met up with Light in the woods. For an unknown reason I made the decision to try to out drink everyone in the whole place’s combined alcohol intake. Ended up really messily, talking an absolute load of waffle, eating the disgusting food that is McDonalds, creating a shower of disposable cutlery and portions of sauce, nearly getting beaten up by a guy I’d named Margaret, generally getting wild. The following morning was not enjoyable in the slightest.
I also ripped down some curtains on Thursday night in a club in Banbury, for which the bouncers and owner claimed he would be sending my an invoice in the post. Made me give them ID for my address before they threw me out whilst I drunkenly tried to charm them into letting me off. I went from ‘this is the time of my life!’ to ‘what’s this bouncer doing dragging me across the dance floor’ in the blink of an eye.

Liam training as resident Cothill tree surgeon, whilst Pipe and Jibbles supervise and offer advice

The Sunday after the Cellar we headed down the woods for a little session. Most people we pretty haggard, and only a few rode much. Timmy and Jamie were up from Croydon, so along with me, Aidan and Stu, we had a session on the hip line. First runs whilst still drunk are scary. The highlight (for me anyway) was definitely watching Scott Edgworth go through, best style, racer backgrounds always shine through. He is so in control on a bike it’s untrue. Even with my drunken rants at him the night previously, that I was informed of that morning at Aidan’s, he was still a bloody nice chap. Note to self; must not talk complete shit to people I meet when drunk. Lima also did the tree surgery you see above, including a tree to tree leap of faith at about 15 Feet up. Ripper.

Eddie’s new bicycle, Kane’s new Blewbmx tag he did for me…

So to the final chapter, which is a Wednesday afternoon nibble on a cool village mini ramp, followed by an evening session down the local. I took these pictures of Eddie and his awesome looking new United Forte. He got heaps of new parts too, and had the nicest looking bike since the public first locked their eyes onto the very first penny farthing. Hope you’ve enjoyed this seemingly endless update, which is now coming to an end. If you have read all this, then send me a myspace or something, because I think we need to make some sexy time. Adios amigo’s.

Two wheeler and it’s proud owner

Extravaganza

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Tags: Oxford, The woods, Winchester
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