lots of things that happen to me involves strange happenings and not much thought. the thought only comes to me when its to late and im doing it. pretty groovay. living on a whim.

anyhooo as some of you may know, i work in a pub, and over a couple of years you have a few fantacey chats with a few ladys.so i made one of there fantaceys come true. i am aidanmaximus the mean loveing gladiator.
this is what i decided to do, hold on to your nickers, cos this shit is about to get heavy.

“mum come and watch me strip.” just one quote i have said in my life.

watch before you carry on reading. maybe get the tissue you keep from under bed for masterbation?

AIDANMAXIMUS THE STRIPPER

There was actually about 50 to 60 people in the pub. i was stoked. my mum and sister were there, yak in the vale wasnt cos he was eating jelly and icecream. but he did help me rehearse taking my clothes of yo.

before i got in my nipsey, a women came and asked me if i wanted to be a model for there ann summers partay like modeling jock straps and stuff. im not doing that shit.

ill wear my mums clothes and make up in private but no jock strapping. no no no YES.

but yoooo. here is the sexy cream that i used. 99p from superdrug. dialled.

so heres some riding pics. i love bike riding nuff at the mo. and cant wait for those amazing evening sessions. this is me putting my hands up for detroit, i love this citty.

you know you get pictures that you can look at and they are just nice to look at, i give you some more. this is the yak in the vale getting rad with a moto tweak. hes nearly getting bum stripes. he needs to loose searious weight, i just dont know how to tell him nicely so he doesnt get offended and feel the need to belly flop me. that would suck.

this is me doing an oppo tweak one footer. three years ago this would of been a nothing. my shins needed a brake from that stunting. they are still in recovery.get well soon babys.xx

yak in the vale learning the first movements of opposite tables. end of summer youll get more of this for your money. maybe a tongue bang.

in my phone i have edder the shredder our boss, down as NAKED, get it. this is cos he stayed at a gils house once and her parents saw him in his boxers, so they started to call him NAKED. true.

same move different stance.

infact look at my face, its like someones done a real bad guff.

today is nuff windey. apparently theres hurricane force winds out at sea, to have a fishermans job would be nuts, respec to those crazy cats. fabulouse. have a lovely week my chickens.

flip i allmost forgot to say. on tuesday i am going to london to do a chat/review for channel 4 / E4 on an opera. i havent seen this opera really, but i talk loads of shite about it and they love it. will post up the date that the show will be on. im syked.

THE SQUIREL IS BACK. peace and love. xx

go to jardbicyclemotocross cos those boys are groovay.

GayBar!

A hello there my prettys. i have an adventure to tell you of.
the other day i went to bristol to visit my sister and to see a gig. the fella who we went to see was a chap callled Patrick Wolf. he does music known as folktronica, electro with folk music.

the venue was a haggered old boat on the bristol river wich was nuts but so so rad. the gig was rad and i danced rad,so bassically i got rad. yo.

So i went to the gig with my sister and her lesbian friend, who i tried getting with a while back, then my sister got made and started kicking me, then everyone decided to start crying. but anyway her gay friend (rosa) said and i quote, “come on i\’ll take you to a gay bar”. i got stoked on this shit.

so we walked off to get gay.
walked into the gay club/gay bar. and im quite a camp fella as far as it goes, so i can come across a bit of a puffta sometimes.

so i walked in and there was flashy lights and smoke machines and lots of gayness. so you walk in and most people look at you checking you out, at this point my manly gaydar was going off the hook. so im looking at the chaps thinking your gay and there looking at me checking me out. so i walk to the bar and order an orange alcopop named REEF, and said to myself “welldone aidan you fucking dick. you have just ordered the gayest drink on the planet. TWAT”

the kind of gay boys around.

1. you had the fcuk looking bum boys with there pretty hair.

2. then the chavie fcuk bum boys.

3. then the men that have just got out of work in there suits.

4. then the sex and the city kind of bum boys, that had there shirts off with there six packs and there sweaty bodys.

so all my sisters friends that are lesbians (so good) think that im gay and are chatting away to me, and then one of the girls ask me if im gay, and i quote “are you gay”, with which i replied no im straight, she then looked shocked and said a really long really like this, “reeeaaaallllllyy”.

i asked her why she thought i was gay and she said ” its the way you were holding your bottle”. (that fucking bottle of reef)

SHAG TAG!

then around came so people giving out some stickers with numbers on. this was for the shag tags. Basically everone in the entire place has a number and if you like the look of someone, you write them a little note. now when i was told this, i thought to myself, WHY THE FLIP, dont they do this in straight places. answer that one o mighty one.

so within ten minutes of being there and the first three notes put on the board, a note for me was put there. i was number 121. and here is that note in all its glory. yooooooooooooooo.

i laughed at this alot. then my sister turns around to some bummers and says pretty loudly to them.

“DO YOU KNOW WHO 176 IS COS HE FANCYS MY BRUVAA” i quickly grabbed her and told her that i was playing it cool.

i was told if some chap came onto me, to say that i allready had a boyfriend. i thought of stu loxley

so the off i went to get gay on the dance floor, threw down so moves aid style. mean while one of my sisters lesbian friends said to my sister, and i quote “your brother has to be the fittest gay guy ive ever seen”. how dialled is that, all walks of life want to get in my knickers.

THEN SUDDENLY! i realised that i had to go pee. i was scared for my bum. but it wasnt that bad, in fact i quiet enjoyed it.

then the chap that i went to see perform came in around two o\’clock. he was a really nice chap, and i was more than super stoked on meeting him. AND it was in a gaybar. so then after saying our toodle doo\’s me and my sister trundled off home, laughing our frosty nipples off. yeah gay bar yeah.

thought i would add some bike stuff. these are mine and yak in the vales favourite pics of 2005. yak in the vale 2005 hip invert.

aids (me) 2005 tailwhip to one pedal.

and thats about it really. here is a link to PATRICK WOLF. beat that chaz mania. lots of gay peace and love love aidan xxxxxxx

the pics of the action men are in a gay sex advise book that i foung on the stairs to the loo.

go check out CHELTBMX and BCBMX

sorry if i offended anyone with my gay terms.

?AIDAN?
its story time my prettys. ooo yes. so its saturday night and all you crazy wangers are most probably partaying and experimenting. me an yak are at home getting stoked on ant and dec (they are saturday night tele, eating and doing smoking infront of fire, yo. last night was pretty rad though, i did some volentery work at my youth centre for a rock gig, was well funky, saw the radley radders boys. and there was nuff cute emo under age girls there. i wanted to of boffed them all. couldnt help when a cute one went passed to say under my breath, “you teasing young sausy beeeeeeeach.” all this makes me sound like a perv. i well aint!

yak was out in oxford with some girls and was going to bring them back for a partay at 157. so i went and got beeer from tesco 24 hour, the best thing ever invented since strech armstrong. he was the shit. i bit into my strech arm stong and the fluid jelly inside it gave me the shits.

me and this lady friend of mine in the last to pics, did the Giration dance together, being all nudey and that. after our anticks, we went on a morning walk. we had swopped jeans, so when i was taking the jeans off her i was taking my jeans off. i found this delightful.mmmmmmmmmm. i dressed her this morning. so we went over the field sat an the tractor and drank coffie from a flask, wickeeeed. and talked abuut rad things and got stoked in life.

my mum gets stoked on snow. look at it. one of the best feelings is tredding in untrodden snow yo.

snow jumps. these are bits of my lines.

snow.

is.

pretty rad.
the other day we were partaying at 157 and at about 5.30 still doing vodka myself (there were others present, i wasnt by myself) whilst feeling peest. i decided to go dig, fell off three times whilst riding there, dug for alot in the dark, fell asleep on my bike at 8.30 in the woods, then woke up at 9 dug a bit more and felt shady as bruv, so i went home.

me and chaz getting titanic on it.
thats about it really. peace and love my love chickens xxxxxx aidan

so its nearly Christmas. Christmas is nuts, remember when you used to get loads of general shite. me and my sister used to have stockings with stuff like a toothbrush and a two pound coin. but now we get rizla, filters, satsuma’s and a two pound coin witch will go on bakkie anyway. i smoke because i am good at it. my mum always gets me a subscription to ride, and t-shirts that are far to big for me, then has the check to use the whole “you will grow into it” that will mean that i will have to be obease, then santa looses the reciept, and we end up sowing it to fit. we are so poor its super funny. christmas forever.

i went driving in the morning yesterday, then when i got home i thought what shall i do this afternoon. yak was waiting to go to the dentist on the sofa wrapped in his duvet, then remebered that at botley bowl some cats were haveing a little jam sandwitch, i got stoked and headed down to the station. these are the boys of glory.

THIS IS ME JUMPING ON A WALL

i see this wall all the time but never have had my bike with me, so i did it yesterday. it was nice. insest its not wise but clever if you get away with it. the bowl was rad everyone doing cool stunts and spreading testosterone around. infact i clearly remeder rubbing my testosterine on someone or something in the bushes. mmmmmmmmmm feeeeeeley

old cohill, this day was super cool. all the chelt boys travelled down, they have all grown up a smigin now, they are also so cute and sweet. i would like them to apear in my stocking on christmas morning.

same place. yak getting rad, this was the first day that he got stripes yo. joe smally took these two pictures. he is one pretty soldier, i definately would drop the soap for him.
so thats my update done for the year. ED i SERIOUSLY NEED my money for this update triple a s a p.
last night i went into oxford by myself, found a nice little pub, to sit and write some kids storys, it was rad. then i walked in the rain. off to london now to go party at my dick of a sisters birthday. peace and love. aidan xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

hi, its aidan. There was one night when i was stood outside the house and this dude rolled up on his raliegh what not, he was dressed in this high visability jaket and had crazy bleached hair and proceeded to have a whaz in my front hedge. sort of stunned, i didnt say anything but in stead listned to him wee. you know when you wee on the ground and the puddle builds up, it was that noise. any way if i ever find that imagrant i shall follow him to his house and proceed to under the cover of darkness wee through his letter box.
anyhoo. we met up with the one and only chris bradley and got keen with him on some wood yo.

chris got sexy, i have admitted today that, preston from th ordanary boys and jude law are the only men that i would ever snog

yak had helped chris out with his love bumps a while back, and so we jumped them. chris hasnt done much to his jumps because he has insomnia. this is due to smoking de urb. he loves it and i love him.

this was a nice little set, took a bit a wearing in cos they had a bit of a pour down that night. it should lead you through into some real nice sets. me doing a stepthru.

this is possibly the best thing that the chris and others have produced over the years, a nice tidy shady wallride set up. welldone chris it is rad. this is chris doing to faike, yeah chris.
his mum denied me of a vanilla donut.

i remember when we went to newport one time and chris started doin these, he thought of them and started doing them out the wall witch was rad to see. i dont know what to call it. bit like a hip hanger i guess.

me doing a tap.

these were fun.

chris getting his wall to kickout on. bo

me doing cross foot to wall.
after all of these shinanigans, we headed back to chrises, and that when the donut deniing proceeded. general riding is rad and these pictures are rad, yak took them all, bo. enjoy your next ride folks, love aidan xx

here is a video of our lovely day