Author Archive

hirobangsha! my name is yak of the vale and i cut the nails on my fingers more often than the nails on my toes.

so theres been no updates from me or aidan recently on this fine interwebsite. theres only one reason for this.

THESHOVELLOAD.COM

see you there when it opens. give it under a week.

so this is my last update on blewbmx.com. that may mean theres a space opening for a new updater to continue the domination thats creeped now into sweden and belgium. i made just over £5000 working for ed whilst he brought home the bread,bacon and butter from his superstar pimpin\’ service so we could make bacon sandwiches at 3am. thankfully i made it under the tax bracket. boom.

so send ed some love before his epic shoulder surgery on wednesday.

over and out xx

ello ello. shallowest apologies for lack of updates. if i were to write anything as useless as what you are about to read then it wouldn’t even be worth reading. stuff has slowed down a bit recently. after aidan came back from the aversion trip with tales of shit and stolen cars, it was also accompanied with a bashed out ankle. the next day we attempted to ride the trails in a state of blissful ignorance and thats where his ankle fell to pieces and my bike started on the steady road to death.

so ive been in sallys pussy which is wicked cos she keeps it open all day. i dont know how many people have been into sallys pussy but ive heard she gets about. im such a child.

so yeah, tried to ride yesterday and drove up to bristol with jamie t which was completely uneventful apart from a couple of box tricks and aidan somehow getting away with blasting a hip higher than he should. his ankle still took it for the team. then my forks flew up to heaven. turned out i was riding with a bent steerer tube which explained why the stem rocked back and forth. then went to a 70’s bowl on the way home regardless and we both got punctures. then we realised we both have no money, bought a can of cherry coke and shouted at crap drivers. the end.

so probably not much from us for a while im afraid my prettys. im off to devon tomorrow to get drunk anyway. my new forks are on their way and aidan has to spend ?345 on his bike before its even worth riding. someone link us up please. peace and love.x

ps. tricklist and bcbmx are the best sites on this fine day. if you dont know how to get there then you’re as stupid as aidan is.

yeppp. my name is yak of the vale and when people try to recite sections of stand up comedy to me, attempting to emulate the comedian themselves i cringe a thousand times over.

so this is a stu loxley update. its a first. we had the pleasant presence of stu for 5 days and nights. it may well of been one of the best weeks of my life. i do not make claims like this lightly. and although in the past i have, i do not also claim i love anyone that i dont. but the burning and searing pain in my heart that came about when stu loxley left these fair lands can only lead me to presume that i love him. i think the feelings returned although i hope he isnt in pain cos then that would make my pain worse. its like a cycle. talking of cycles…

the past 5 days are summed up in this here receipt. i didnt go to sleep before 5am the whole week and maybe ate 2 vegetables, more than likely those vegetables were frozen. if you can afford it, go fresh everytime. what can you do with ?1.59 exactly?

awww, hes so pretty. the boy wonder had never before experienced many things which whitecross came to teach him. tight jeans were one of these pleasures. on sunday night he was shutting down the tight jeans. by friday he was so stoked on them for so many reasons, that we gave him this very pair he sports here. originality is futile!! some sort of cover picture or something.

so we rode the trails alot but any of the pictures i have dont even measure up to eds ones he took in the update before so i’ve just left it to him. when joesmalley and ed take pictures like they do, my compact camera just cant measure up. so i take you to the wonders of radley skatepark on the last day. table bang!!

so much happened over stus stay and so many stories to tell but its like my brain got so overloaded that i cant recall most of them. alot relate to girls but that just makes for a rubbish story. here stu turndowns a box i just cant whilst wearing his new favourite item of clothing. resistance is futile!!

apparently you shouldnt shoot into the sun. what a load of bollocks. the legend of law turned up, a gloucester boy who has a penchant for fast cars, village girls and a zest for life that makes my tounge go all citrusy. radleys amazing on so many levels.

weeeeeee. we went to squirrels house one night to watch aidan get fame on channel4 on one of those ‘harvey goldsmith - get your act together’ programs. the one he was on was about opera and he was on the e4 show afterwards sitting behind harvey goldsmith biting his nails and slouching on his chair the whole program. dialled. this has no reference to this table although a reference can be easily found. by you.

hahaha. i know you may be wanting riding pictures but you aint getting anymore. this is a diary. this is also what a room looks like when all mine,aidans and stus belongings are thrown onto one floor and into one cupboard. im sitting on that chair. its very comfy.

stus rotten. he ended up meeting the legend of Marys Gunna Get It. it was like a meeting of titans. ive never seen a boy exert so many different noises in front of a girl. maybe that was mary getting it. although i think not. here he continues his filthy run by picking his earwax using a pen lid, before wiping it on that piece of card in his right hand. and i quote “its natural”. i just had to get my mary mention in. mary facts next time.

hahahaha. the final night party at 157. stu in aidans super skins. maybe this picture needs to be accompanied by sounds and visuals. yes it shall.

TIGHT COCK FUN@157 WOOOOP

wicckkkkkkked!! so thats that. i’ll keep all the stories in my head maybe.i could of written an essay but then you wouldnt of read it. no marks for an unread paper. i shall leave you with this fact:

marys gunna get it. x

awoooga! my name is yak of the vale and im eating a sandwich not cos im hungry but because i dont know where the next meal is coming from.

so heres some mega proof of blewbmx’s world domination campaign coming together. this stuff just appeared onto the shelf of whitecross towers and ‘blew’ me away. ive got a cold. i should go ‘blow’ my nose. actually, maybe i shouldnt, i’ll probably go ‘blue’ in the face whilst i do it. damn im out….

haha. ed has no idea what hes started. apparently ed the naked ladykiller has not so recently found himself a young ladyfriend. he kept that quiet the sly dog. chaz has been getting sucked off by his uni housemate for months now and its reported that theres more where that came from. oh yes…lots more. the filthy swine. aidan rarely gets sucked off by anyone but has sex with squirrels these days. i dont have sex with squirrels unless they’re male ones.

?. had a one day work week this week. its a treat. i could go down the trails but its manky outside and id rather get wasted. went to see the mules the other night downstairs at the zodiac - MYSPACE.COM/THEMULES - they were raaate good and sound much better than their myspace makes them. me and aidan were put on the guestlist by the manager of the band cos he knows aidans sister. dialled. didnt really hear much of it cos i was distracted by a tres pretty girl but what i heard was pretty dang good.

SEX LOTION FILM.SEE IT HERE

then it was back to the infamous 157 whitecross for a party for three til 5am. utter treats every time. here is yet another whitecross video that got filmed in a frenzy of drunken games, childish idiocy and revenge towards the boy wonder. once again i apologise to anyone that may be easily offended, e.g eds mum and grandma.

peace out. look to ed and chaz for riding pictures and please, dear god please dont judge me. x

ooooh MARYYYYYY.MARYYYYYYYY! i suggest if you see this you have too much time on your hands therefore you must sign the guestbook explaining yourself. you’re live on the BMX internet now, theres thousands of people watching your every move. hittt it up! i love it mary, i just love it.

i give you…mary. x