Author Archive

hello. my name is yak of the vale apparently and i am no sickhead.

im going to write a few words here that bear little relevance to the photos i present. with any luck they will, but if that happens its not something i planned. theres alot of things i havent planned but sometimes they just work out. other times they dont and i really wish i had planned them. aidan and chaz - im gunna win this one. do your best.

heres an slr photo i took a while ago. ive taken alot of slr pictures and had planned to put them somewhere else, not on a bmx website anyway. however, it didnt really work out like that, and for that im glad it worked out. i took this one with a wideangle/macro lense that i bought from a small camera shop in exeter for ?19 with people who know what they’re talking about. this is the first photo i took with the macro end of a puffy thing that i always forget the name of.

so i went into london last night for my nutbar of a cousins 26th birthday. shes one of the most genuinely crazy people i know and i like the way she talks. i had an amazing amazing night. it was one of those nights that started off slow and civilized that often makes you wonder whether it was worth the ?100 you’re about to spend. at ?6.50 for a double whiskey and coke it doesnt take long to reach that number. i spent ?12.50 getting from my door to the door of the bar place we went to, which took 3 1/2 hours. within 20 minutes i’d spent the equivalent on some alchohol and fizzy drink poured into a glass with ice and a straw. doesnt really add up. this picture is ironic.

so i ended up clearing a dancefloor on my own, with some help from my sister by doing press ups and lunges to impress. its amazing how people react to pure stupidity. i met more random friendly people who allowed me to nick their ?50 hats off their heads than expected and chatted up a 31yr old woman by sitting on her table and asking her name. i doubt i would of talked to me in similar circumstances. she then stole my ?60 jacket which by per square inch is better value than peoples hats.

so that was pretty awesome. londons growing on me slowly. i could never live there, i like puffy flowers and the stars too much buts its nice to venture into every once and while and look up at all the big buildings and gaze in bewilderment and how fast humans can actually walk when they think they have to. i experienced what meeting people and talking to people on the underground is like, something thats never happened before. it was a similar feeling to how you’d feel if you were to walk into a library and start shouting.

i like this photo cos it makes me want to read the paper and own a BMW, perhaps wash my hands with dove soap and eat vine ripened tomatoes from waitrose that cost much more than perhaps they’re worth. ive categorised this little clippet as ‘art’ cos when in doubt, you can just call it that and feel satisfied you’ve been able to label it. thats all the photos i’ll show for now but i’ll leave you with a little video that i can only refer to as art but for more genuine reasons than vague ones.

AIDANS LITTLE CAR PODCAST?

aidan can do some pretty funny stuff if you leave him on his own for long enough. i hope this link works cos if it doesnt then ed - you’ll have to fix it. i have neither the power nor the knowledge to. enjoy. oh and btw, 49p from oxfam was what fuelled this excitable outburst. it really is the simple things in life. the best things in life arent free. most of the time theyre 49p. byebye xx

yeaaaaah! theres been massive rumours that blewbmx is taking over the world in the near future. epic proportions that are deemed impossible from the past experiences of the human race. a power so strong that countries shall bow, nations shall fall and leaders will follow. everyone resorting to a vegetable like state with sheer shock and happiness, spending the rest of their lives living by the words of a select few knowledgable types. oh yes.

do you like my font? i should severely hope so.

we’re down the trails alot these days. alot. aidan has built about 20 sets this year all by himself with me supplying no help apart from criticism and an occasional slap. the slaps seem to knock sense out of him rather than in however. the other night i brought back a girl for him to have sex with from oxford cos the legend of aidan had got about town. she’d heard stories. when i got back to the house with her and another girl, aidan had drunk himself stupid on cointreau and was clothed top to toe in the pages of the bible, drinking hot water with moss in it and listening to the cures greatest hits.

he then spent the next 7 hours preaching to the girl before wearing her jeans, getting her to wear his then finally shagging her at 7 in the morning using the techniques that sting became famed for. they then went for a walk afterwards with a flask of coffee and continued wearing each others clothes until he could stay awake no longer and passed out. here he wears his own jeans and does a no hander over an excellently built jump that i knew would work all along.

dogs. wonderful dogs. i hate small dogs AKA rats usually. but these ones are rad. i think the woman who owns them fancies me but i aint sure. i wistfully talk to her about contemporary dance and old men just cos i can. why do i? cos im an uncle. and you better not forget that.

the end. go spread the word. tell your families, your ancestors and all the sultry tramps with internet access. xx

why greetings! sorry for being shit recently, i have been busy in the sense of busier than usual but not really busy. a bit late, but hello 2007. i havent had to write down the date yet, but i imagine lots of kids at school keep writing the wrong year. it usually kicks in, in about february/march time so the statistics go. picture >

bit of an aidan update im afraid. apologies in advance. this pictures about a month old from when me and aid went to soho in london to party like sickheads and how we did. aido got wildly drunk before we even went out on whiskey and coke. these pictures were taken at about 5am, so i’ll story as i go…

hehehehe. got to a club/bar whatever called digress in soho. had our own private party room. aidan grabbed my crotch then ripped the shit out of my jeans then proceeded to whack my bottle of beer with his harder than ever so it went everywhere. bottles in this place cost ?3.35. dick. then the girl with the leopard tights did it to him and shattered the bottle. karma.

aidan very drunk. i wasnt. my mother would be proud. in fact, my mums rad. shes on msn at the moment, and i quote exactly:

yakkle says:

im not sure i would of been as stoked as you are if he shit himself while i was holding him

mummy says:

well its all safely in the nappy!! All rather sweet really as he goes off to sleep sitting in it all !!

heres what we were talking about. say hello to oscar, the nephew to uncle yak. yeaaaah, refer to me as uncle yak from now on. it suits me. makes me sound wise and wistful and like an alchoholic. which if you ask me is a pretty rad mix. my big bro whos shorter than me and uglier than me made his wife squeeze a human out of herself for their future happiness. good lad. he aint ugly. he actually looks like tom cruise before he turned weird.

so basically if anyone touches a hair on his head i have to fuck em up which sounds pretty fun. i also take him out and get him drunk when hes 18 and teach him to do bicycle tricks. sweet.

heres a breakfast aidan got at 7.30am having had no sleep for…..?2. then after eating that he bought another one.what the hey hoo? london is cheeeeep.
fact.

oooh jumps! this pictures a month old as well. sorry. thats aidans lip on his line. his lines nuts. hes built so much stuff, spent nearly 2 weeks straight down there over christmas and got so much done, while i was in devon. hes building stuff bigger than we’ve ever had at cothill further down this line and has about 5000 ideas for lines in his head. the berm is mine and goes into other strange things that i really need to ride before i can finish them off.

aidan riding said lip a couple of days ago in the soaking wet. you could hear the water under his wheels. still cleared it with some heavy pump over the roller. it looks dry here - dont believe everything you see. everything you see - aidan built….trooper indeed.

the aidan experience

i dont even know. aidan another night entertaining some sexpot.

what a shit update.bye bye xx

i just watched a documentary called ‘unknown white male’ on c4. its some of the most probing tv ive ever watched. it left me totally bewildered, the idea of it all. and if you were in that situation what would you do.

this will make little sense to you if you havent seen it.

if you have, would you have your memory wiped, with the option of having it changed back in 6 months. but your wiped mind decides whether you change back or not. would there be enough unanswered questions that you’d want to know? or is ignorance bliss. great thing is, you cant answer these questions. make of it what you will.

www.unknownwhitemale.co.uk

xx

greetings.

just gunna empty my head of junk. this seems the best place to do so. i had a bunch of things earlier that i wanted to say but ive forgotten most of them. they may resurface.

tea!!! i still love it. some days i have too many cups and feel sick but still drink through the pain. took the first flask of the year down to the trails today. it was a wonder. its just something to look forward to. didnt have any normal white sugar so had some weird brown muscovado shit…

weeeeee. by the way, this isnt a “real” update. it actually is an offload, a bit like cleaning out the recycle bin. here aidan celebrates the fact he has a complete bike. we put the frame on. had hassle with the cranks as usual. then discovered his headset was crapped up too. so ordered a bling sealed up one. got that.then cyclesport had forgotten to send the top seal. benders. so then got the seal sent. then his top cup had bent with the beating he’d given it, riding the bike around without any top bearings or cover or whatnot. whacked that in, then it went a treat. new seat and grips needed.

ooooooh yeah / the first bit of a berm in my line. WORD. aidans now quit his job at the flowing well pub after 2 and a half years of being offered sex, drugs and listening to strange music. end of a very strange era. didnt manage to attend his last night as i was reeeet ooop north like at lancaster uni. that was pretty ace. cant be bothered to tell any stories. but it basically means that aidan now has way more free time, so we can go digging and riding more. so in theory there should be some old skool style good updates from us soon. this update cannot be included.

so we have more time to do this kind of stuff. up up…

…and away. so i see the boy alot these days. which means he comes round and shows me shady videos hes found on youtube. now, im not overly happy about this occurence, but like they say, every cloud has a silver lining. this video about rick james was one of them. honestly, watch it >>

I’m Rick James Bitch!

bike picture!! wow wow woo wah! main line 3rd back in the summer on one of the very few sessions we had. shit doesnt look like this at all anymore but that was a pretty cool jump.

oh yeah, went to radley one day last week when i had fuckall to do whatsoever and tried to do tricks. did an xup for the first time in ages and got my wheel stuck thje wrong side of my foot at about 230 degrees centigrade. still shits me up. so i just did a table instead.

this is only worth the 2 seconds it takes to watch

hell why not. thats 2 forms of riding media in one update. i best slow down before i blow up. why? cos im rick jamessss bitchhhhh.
bunnyhop pictures next time?

xx