This update is at it’s essence going to be the best update you’ve ever clapped your eyes on, even better than when the Bible was updated with the new testament. So the stories all start with some funny pictures from Aidan’s driveway a while ago. We were messing about riding the miniscule bank and doing silly tricks, when Aidan got really stoked and decided to take photos. These are the horrific results of these ridiculous manoeuvres. This bank is pretty much non existent, so if you’re expecting the world from these following three pictures you’re probably going to be greeted by a shit place like Hull at best.

Footplant fakie inspired by Tin Head

Arty angles innit bruv

Airing the shit out of it, streets is probably not saying much about this

There was then this other time at band camp…oh wait, actually it was at Aidan’s house. Me and my buddy Tobe were chilling at 157, in between shooting the Abingdon photo’s you saw on a previous update, and getting punctures at Radley riding in the wet. We decided to take this photo, where I thought I was the Fonz from Happy Days, and Danny boy Tobin thought he was going to sex my ear hole. Those guns are banned in 52 states, some European countries, and most of Antarctica.

Sicker then you, or something like that…

Oh yes, and then there was this time where I was in a completely different place to the photo’s location. I could have been working, eating a toasted sandwich, out buying some ornamental candle sticks, anywhere. The photo that someone took, my guess being Mr tripod, shows Aidan and Pipeson building up the steep jump lip. It may look wonky here, but the spirit level says differently…

Heroes in their own rights

This update is actually operating in chronological order, which works nicely I reckon. I remember when a Sprung video or something put the World Cup downhill mountain bike rounds in a random order through the video, and it didn’t really work. Sometimes rules are good…
The next photograph comes from just this Saturday morning, although Aidan has been hucking his bike over stuff like this since the late 1960’s. Let me give you some historical background. This gap is in Oxford city centre, and as part of the college I would imagine was constructed sometime during the 1900’s. And then sometime during 2007, Will Hermann gapped it, followed another time afterwards by world famous BMX super pro Liam Eltham. Forward to 17th May, and Aidan ‘big dog pimp number 1 fight you for your loafers’ Mahon also manned up. Although he was clipping the far edge of the pallet, it was pretty much a done deal. I’ll leave those boys to these sort of racer pedalling concrete gaps. Jen was also stoked on this gap, although confessing to the fact she had no idea whether it was good or not, bar judging by our excitement. We also got bothered by a drunken guy in a petrol station.

Rather you than me, scary burly street gappage

The following afternoon, we headed down to the land of Winchester. Rory met us there, and is what can only be described as a ‘rad dude’. He had been fixing lots of stuff that needed fixing, and changing the mud in need of changing. We had a little ride on some of the little line up top, then shredded back line. Scary stuff, but confidence boosting as the first foreign jumps session for us two of the year. Back line is officially the best line in the whole entire planet that we live on.
Aidan also got completely nuts, and decided to spin the first proper jump. In his usual do or die style, he sent it fully, eat quite a lot of shit, and then pulled it a few times clean. He wanted to continue down the line out of it, but the rest of the summer will bring that undoubtedly.

First in Back line, twist, gggg-narly, first session of the year

Aidan tuck the scariest one in the line, such a fun jump

This weekend we also partied really hard in the Cellar in Oxford. Stuicide Loxley also came out to play, and we met up with Light in the woods. For an unknown reason I made the decision to try to out drink everyone in the whole place’s combined alcohol intake. Ended up really messily, talking an absolute load of waffle, eating the disgusting food that is McDonalds, creating a shower of disposable cutlery and portions of sauce, nearly getting beaten up by a guy I’d named Margaret, generally getting wild. The following morning was not enjoyable in the slightest.
I also ripped down some curtains on Thursday night in a club in Banbury, for which the bouncers and owner claimed he would be sending my an invoice in the post. Made me give them ID for my address before they threw me out whilst I drunkenly tried to charm them into letting me off. I went from ‘this is the time of my life!’ to ‘what’s this bouncer doing dragging me across the dance floor’ in the blink of an eye.

Liam training as resident Cothill tree surgeon, whilst Pipe and Jibbles supervise and offer advice

The Sunday after the Cellar we headed down the woods for a little session. Most people we pretty haggard, and only a few rode much. Timmy and Jamie were up from Croydon, so along with me, Aidan and Stu, we had a session on the hip line. First runs whilst still drunk are scary. The highlight (for me anyway) was definitely watching Scott Edgworth go through, best style, racer backgrounds always shine through. He is so in control on a bike it’s untrue. Even with my drunken rants at him the night previously, that I was informed of that morning at Aidan’s, he was still a bloody nice chap. Note to self; must not talk complete shit to people I meet when drunk. Lima also did the tree surgery you see above, including a tree to tree leap of faith at about 15 Feet up. Ripper.

Eddie’s new bicycle, Kane’s new Blewbmx tag he did for me…

So to the final chapter, which is a Wednesday afternoon nibble on a cool village mini ramp, followed by an evening session down the local. I took these pictures of Eddie and his awesome looking new United Forte. He got heaps of new parts too, and had the nicest looking bike since the public first locked their eyes onto the very first penny farthing. Hope you’ve enjoyed this seemingly endless update, which is now coming to an end. If you have read all this, then send me a myspace or something, because I think we need to make some sexy time. Adios amigo’s.

Two wheeler and it’s proud owner

Extravaganza

Promotional artwork

First and foremost, I would like to apologise on behelf of the camera using part of my brainbox for these crappy photo’s. Dark woods and on camera flashes suck. That’s my excuse anyway. Welcome to lot’s of stories update time. Thank you.

Will does the best kickouts

Last weekend was a treat and a half. Should have started in Croydon, but I decided against that plan. Staying in seemed like a good option until Pipe rang about 9pm and convinced me to go out in Oxford. An hour later, I was at Jib’s house with some other kooks.

Gunner and his red bike

We hit up Aidan’s pub, which isn’t all that splendid, and then went to the new Academy/old Zodiac. Paid a fiver for some rubbish back room, but ended up skeaking it into the main sections. Lima and I ran through the fire exit to do so, and ended up in some hardcore house room or summit. A while wandering round there and we realised everyone else must be in the other section. There we were greeted by the legend that is Goldie playing records, woowza!

Ricky G Tbog

Met some posh dude in white jeans in the kebab shop, who Liam heckled about his dirty white jeans and Rev threw chewed up chips at, neither of which he liked. We named him bent tooth and he named Liam red top. Apparently he lovvvved chicken, much like a middle class version of Ali G. “I haven’t got any chips, but if I did have, I would have thrown them at you”. Boom.

Matt going rather far up

Saturday should have been Chertsey, but ended up a walk around Cowley Road due to rain, wondering what to do. After much discussion, it was decided on Bournemouth, but we only made it to Winch. The trails were running sweet pre jam, and a session got on. Aidan got stoked on trains with Martin Tambling, all star struck bless his odd socks.

Opo tables with Ricky Gunner

The Winch guys already had the place running sweet, which was awesome. A nice chilled session went down, with Plymouth, Oxford, Winch, and more all in attendance. It was decided that it were best to disco there, so we headed off, some to Davros’s and us to Jason’s.

Tambling twist variation one

Headed out into the city, and Aidan and I ended up soaked in beer and cider before we reached town. Met the guys in the pub, and chatted lots of rubbish. Met Jez from NZ who was rad about us popping in on our trip down under, lovely chap. Everyone started to get haggard, check LITW for proof. We headed to another pub, I bought Subway on route for some reason. Left Subway in the wrong direction and ended up walking for ages with no clue what was happening. Eventually in the pub, a seriously heated game of fusball got going, and we eventually got kicked out after much persistence from bar staff.

Superman seatgrab, rubbish shot, amazing stunt

After the pub, we got more Subway, I wee’d in Aidan’s shoe, we did the usual aimless ranting and walking, then headed back to Jason’s place. I licked some girl, but not in the good place, and woke up in the morning wrapped in a pair of curtains on a makeshift sofa from chairs. Super night.

Truckdrivers are sick as funk

Oh yes, some bmx happened didn’t it? Although we woke up to rain at 11, by 1pm the trails were all running, due to hard work from locals. Thanks so much guys. The atmosphere this year was by far the best yet, so chilled out and no intense heckling and trick forcing. Just flowing through the trails with loads of people about chilling and having fun was the best.

Matt Priest huge twist

Highlights included seeing lots of sweet people I don’t see to often; good to see the Shrews, Gav, Derelict, Ollie Gun, Gilly, way too many to mention. Tambling and Matt Priest on backline were the best riding I’ve seen in a long time. Martin 7 and Matt double whip on the last were actually obscene. Matt is one rad kid, twist 1 foot 1 hands, twist x ups, whoppers, he seemed really ‘in the zone’ at this point and everything looked lovely. Kent going a good 2 foot higher than anyone else was also nuts.

Dubbbbbbble whip!

Shame red top had hurt his leg he day before, Matt and him training would have been a spectacle not to be missed. Hope this update gave you the wicked feeling in your mind tank and not the ‘what a loada rubbish’ one. Thanks too much to the Winch guys for a rad stay, Jason and Jibbles for places to stay too. Less than 4 weeks until Oz now. It’s going to be the time of my life. You looking forward to grotty UK winter? Mwahaha! Have an awesome weekend this one boys and girls. Kiss.

The grandadmobile

Hello interweb. Got back to my car parked outside a friends house the other day to find this. He said he didn’t know who had done this, which I fully believe, have to find the buggers…lovely start to an update.

4 foot spine, do the maths…

John is an amazing bicycle rider who has just started his last year of school, but has also found the adolescent joy of drugs. Let’s hope he sticks with BMX too.

Callum sweet tabletop

This looks like it’s in a twist, but isn’t. This update will just be an accululation of random photo’s and ramblings from the past few weeks. My flash equipment has been playing up which results in below par photography, but this is sorted now, and I shot some stokers for another update this evening.

Another angle

Callum just sprayed his bike white with baby pink wheels, looks too good. Not stoked on the technicalities of the photo, but am on the stunt.

Get your flair on John

I’ve been trying to save as much money for Aus as possible, which happens through the week, but shits the bed come Friday night. Cheap cider helps the cause. Learn about the greatest beverage this side of the moon here
.

Bad Boy Bike

It took local hobo BMX bandit BB (standing for Bad Boy) a whole day to do each wheel with coloured paper. Worth the effort? You decide. Supported in the background by my friend of many years Adam’s
graffiti.

Wafting

Coasting

Skimming

There’s three photo’s from Winchester that my friend Eddie took of me when we visited a couple of weeks ago. Not the best of photo’s, just stoked to go that high and fast really. First time through back line since summer 2006 was pretty scary stuff, but the best fun ever. Check theshovelload
for more Winch madness.

Mini sending the eagle

Mini is 12 years old I think, and rides a 16 Inch bike with no brakes and bent bars. Have it. Much like young John of earlier in this article(is that what this is?), let’s hope he sticks with kids bikes too.

Next big thing in bmx

I train him regularly to ensure he turns into a tweaker that only does bike movers and the occasional limbless trick. He will one day become a trail boss.

Gymnastics is gay and crazy

The picture explains everything, crazy kids. I have updates from fun days out that may include actual stories coming some time soon, Bournemouth weekend just gone being one of the good times. Been working a lot lately, not had much time to update, but will do again soon. Same old story I tell every update. At least I’ll have good photo’s to show you lovely people when the autumn kicks in and evening park sessions aren’t possible. Adios.

This is the pictures from the last day of the Aversion trip… We had stayed at Chaz’s the night before, I think it’s fair to say everyone was looking/feeling worse for wear… We stopped off at Barend on the way back to Oxfordshire. Will gets wild on the back line. Spot Dean in the bushes? I realised when I was packing up my photo stuff that one of my flashes had run out of batteries… Hence the pictures vary quite a bit!

I am pretty sure this guy was called Matt and knew the Derelict guys. He was super good, I didn’t get any photos which show just how rad this guy is as we left pretty early due to everyone feeling like ass.

Pipe boost on last on backline

Lil Will was shredding the whole trip and does good no-handers… He bailed one of these, was one of the best bails I have ever seen. Just chucked the bike under him and got away with it.

Matt toboggan again

Merlin get the guns out, people are leaving…

Matt X-up

Will flow

Matt huge no-foot can in the backline, missed the jump…

Cheers for everyone who let us ride at Barend, legends. I can now lift my arm past 90 degrees and can play guitar, type with both hands and cut up my own food! Makes life a bit easier.

Barend jam update

Winch jam was on Sunday. Took the bike but didn’t ride, had a really good day though taking photos and watching people ride good. I don;t thik anyone got badly hurt and some amazing riding happened. Went down in the car with matt jones and his girlfriend kat. On the way saw a pretty wild crash with a caravan (photo).don’t drive too fast towing stuff i guess.

highlights of the day were seeing lima shredding, twisting everything in sight and doing 360 lookback over the big sets. Kye forte’s flair on the skatepark line, people riding in fancy dress or nothing. People sending themselves on the flyout comp. The transfer between the sklatepark line. There’s probably a lot more i forgot. Anyway heres a load of photos, i am bad with names so sorry for not knowing anyones for captions..

lima

dave cotton

kye forte

chelt tom

gary

jingles?

kye

another forte i think

this looks pretty weird, it’s a flair by kye. i wouldn’t have beleived this was possible till i saw it.

wild transfer attempt for prize money

360 whips a plenty at the flyout.

too high

backflip, he was doing turndowns with this too and slamming hard and just trying again. commit!

dunno what davros was trying but it looked pretty rad

360 whip again i guess

720

A big thanks to all the guys who made the jam possible and let everyone ride their jumps and generally have a good time, was shithot.